


Puppy Love

by Bad_Guy_Simp



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Character, Trans Jonah Magnus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Guy_Simp/pseuds/Bad_Guy_Simp
Summary: Barnabas Bennett was young when he first fell in love. He was young when he first had his heart broken. He was young when he first met Jonah Magnus.Or Barnabas deserved better but he still wont get it.
Relationships: Barnabas Bennett & Jonah Magnus, Barnabas Bennett/Jonah Magnus, Jonah magnus / Barnabas Bennett (one sided)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Puppy Love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a trans man... so like I may project a tiny bit here. Sorry in advance.

He was young the first time he met Jonah Magnus. A child at the age of 7 meeting the girl he was to one day wed, Joanna. The two grew to be friends in their early days together, but she was nothing like he expected a future wife to be. There was a spark in her eyes, she wasn't the soft spoken Scottish girl he'd been expecting. No, she spoke her mind, asked questions when she shouldn't, and let him know the moment they met that he would not own her. All in all she acted more like a boy than a girl, Barnabas found he didn't mind this in the slightest.

They had no say in the engagement however, the Bennett household and her own merging would benefit both families. So despite the adoration and love quick to bloom in young Barnabas, she showed little of the same emotion. They were engaged by their sixteenth birthday, young by their times standards, their parents wanted to ensure they had no say in finding another. The wedding date was set for the summer that following year, but by spring Joanna had vanished.

The last time Barnabas saw her had been at a Christmas party. The two spent a lot of time together normally at these events, most would assume their to be marriage was a perfect match… but deep down Barnabas knew she was miserable at the idea. He knew her too well to expect her to want to be wed and forced into motherhood, she'd never be happy as an obedient housewife. Still, he found himself loving her. She was beautiful at the party, catching the eye of every bachelor there but the ring on her finger showing she was taken kept them at bay.

"Walk with me." It hadn't been a request but a gentle demand. Her hand held out for Barnabas and the man was all too happy to accept it.

They left the party for the solitude of the garden. He had protested with how cold the winter night was but still she led them to their usual spot and after dusting the snow from their bench she sat. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere, turned to the dark beyond her yard as the snow began to gently fall around them once more.

"Do you love me?" The question caught him off guard. 

"Joanna I-"

"It is a simple question, Barnabas… and do not lie to me." Her grey eyes turned to lock with his own bright blue. He didn't know why she was asking this. Was it the approaching wedding perhaps?

"I do." And he meant it. He did, he expected a smile at hearing this but she frowned. 

"That… is a shame." He could feel his heart breaking. "You are a dear friend…" he didn't know why she was saying this, he wanted to cry but instead he just moved to sit at her side.

"You… don't love me." He stated sadly looking to where she had been moments before, swallowing around a quickly forming lump in his throat. 

"I never said that." She said nothing more than that. Joanna was a strange woman, she confused him but he liked that about her. He did relax a bit hearing she didn't not love him… that was good right? "I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too." His eyes turned back to her. He was to return home until the Wedding, the next day he would leave the estate and next he saw her would be their wedding day in the summer. He assumed that was what she meant. He had no way of knowing this was to be the last time he would ever see Joanna. 

To his surprise she leaned in to kiss him, just a gentle press of lips. Shy and awkward, it was their first and it brought a smile to the young tailors face… had he known it was a goodbye… well there would be no stopping those tears. 

That night he sat in the cold with Joanna for a long time, talking about the life they'd have together. He planned to try hard every day to please her, he'd do anything to make her happy. The following week he received word she was gone. Her and a large portion of her family's fortune… along with several of her father's suits and her favorite horse.

\---

It had not been easy to leave. Not for lack of wanting on his part. No Jonah's mind was set the instant the wedding date was… No, if he was honest with himself it was long before then he had decided to leave. What had made it hard was finding the right time and way. The Christmas party was quite honestly perfect.

He hadn't drank that night, odd for him but no one seemed to notice. He had packed that morning and hidden the bags where they wouldn't be noticed. The final piece to his plans was the family safe. He had finally learned how to get into the damned thing and late that night while his parents were in a drunken slumber their only child robbed them blind. He was just so tired of being Joanna. The daughter and only child of the family estate. The daughter they planned to sell off for profit. 

He scoffed at the thought in his inn room. He has entered as Joanna, a small tavern in the middle of nowhere, but he would leave Jonah. There was no doubt in his mind that Barnabas could have made him happy, but he would never truly enjoy life. Stuck as Joanna was no life for him. No, tonight Joanna died.

His hair was the first to go, sheers he had stolen to trim it down from the long ginger locks he'd lived with for so long. It felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders as clump after clump fell to the floor. Next was the dress. He scowled at the gorgeous gown. It was beautiful, expensive, he could easily pawn it for money… instead he shredded it. Ripping the damned thing to pieces and bundling it up to burn later.

With that done he moved to the issue of his breasts, they were small sure but that didn't mean they weren't noticeable. It was something he had practiced a time or two before. A corset made to bind and flatten his chest. Hardly comfortable but once one of his father's shirts were on over it… the sheer relief and joy at his appearance, he would never be able to put the emotions into words. He dressed himself fully into the suit that was slightly too big... that was fine hed have a tailor make himself new ones. Ones that fit perfect and hid his chest just as well.

Jonah admired his new reflection, he finally felt right… that night he would sleep in his corset, fully dressed. He slipped out early the next morning, burning his clothes and setting off for his new life.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I adore feedback! Every kudos and comment warms my heart. <3


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